I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
