Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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