one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
