And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
