Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
