Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
