Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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