just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
