So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
