Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize
