How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
