; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
