That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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