dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize