dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
