I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
