So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
and you said cock pushups were impossible
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
