I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
