I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I have feelings that need drinking.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
