Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
