When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
