come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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