Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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