Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
