This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize