no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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