The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
