fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I touched a dick in church today
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
