she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize