Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
