I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
