I met the friendliest cop last night
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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