there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
