Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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