would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
