Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
