I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
