Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
