we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
