She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
