im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
sarcasm needs its own font
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
