After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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