the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
