We're facebook friends in real life
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
