opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
