Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
