Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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