Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
