apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
