TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
