whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize