We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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