omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Randomize
