dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
...so i touched it.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
