Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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