Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
