Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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