I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
