Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
