and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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