if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
