Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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