Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
