I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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