Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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