Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
