I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
